Vibrations of a Vixen

…stories from under the sheets…

Goddamn Mormons. No Offense. February 17, 2010

Filed under: sex — vixations @ 3:48 pm

Here’s our second Vixations guest post! It’s from MikShorty, a girl who doesn’t mind a little romping in the bedroom, except for when it compromises her sleep schedule. A woman after my own heart. She wasn’t the whore here, but thought someone else was, w00t!:

About 4 years ago, I was touring New York City with my performing group for a week. In my 5 years with this group, a summer tour never went by without a tour romance. This time, my roommate had one of them.

For two nights in a row, she didn’t sleep in our room and she didn’t tell me until the third morning when she rolled into the room to get ready. She and the hottest guy on the tour were hooking up (she was the theater nerd and he was the hot jock). Of course, I was shocked but vowed to her that I wouldn’t say anything because it would cause insane drama among a few of the girls who were crushing on the guy.

That night however, she had warned me that she probably wouldn’t be back until around 1 or 2 AM and that he may or may not be with her when she does. I had no problems with that so long as they don’t wake me up. She asked me to keep the door cracked open so they could get in. So I went to bed on the top bunk as I had the entire tour and sure enough, a couple hours later, the door opened and 2 people came in. They crawled into the bunk beneath me as I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

A few minutes later, the bed slightly starts to move a little. I figure they are just making out (that’s what hooking up meant with this group of people). But then it hit… over and over. The entire bunk bed was literally rocking beneath me. For about five minutes. I didn’t want to interrupt them because that would have been extremely awkward, so I decided to just chew out my roommate in the morning. At that moment, someone knocked at the door. Who on earth would be knocking that late at night?

Our door opens and there’s my roommate… on the other side of the door. Totally confused, I lift myself up to peer down onto the bottom bunk to see who was really rocking the bed. It turned out to be the couple who are both very Mormon, aka: the goodie-goods. The girl noticed I was awake and asked if they woke me up. I told her the truth and she said they would stop. They didn’t. I could still hear them panting when my roomie left after grabbing her pajamas.

The next morning, I woke up and saw two pairs of feet beneath me. I was glad to see that it was my roomie and the jock that time, and not the frisky Mormons. The Mormon couple wouldn’t look at me for the rest of the tour.  Presumably they were waiting for marriage before sex, so I still have no idea if they were just dry-humping or really going at it. (They are married now, so I guess it doesn’t really matter huh?) Either way it was just messed up to be right above them as they did it!

Listening to: Camera Obscura – French Navy

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5 Responses to “Goddamn Mormons. No Offense.”

  1. June Says:

    Ugh, Mormons…. like everyone they just want to get laid, so the GET MARRIED SO FUCKING EARLY. And then they chastise you about your “lifestyle” and get on their fuckity fuck fuck high horse about the sanctity of marriage. More like the sanctity of getting fucked.

  2. me Says:

    But Big Love is about Mormons and it has Amanda Seyfried and I’d fuck her no matter how many people were in the bunk above us, so they can’t be all bad.

  3. sgba Says:

    Unfortunately, I know exactly how it feels to be in a sexy bunk… minus the Mormons. My freshman year roommate (the first one) had sex in the top bunk (while I was on bottom) with five different guys before Thanksgiving our freshman year. My then-virginal self was horrified and moved out after that!

  4. “Either way it was just messed up to be right above them as they did it!”

    Messed up? Or TOTALLY AWESOME! Yea, messed up..you’re probably right

  5. vixations Says:

    June – I FUCKING KNOW! They’re all ‘we’re in love’ and ‘we’re getting married because we love each other so much’ not to mention the fact that you just want some VAGINA for your Mormon penis.

    Dan – You would. She is hot though.

    SGBA – Oh GOD. I bet being UNDER the people having sex is way worse than being above them. Especially if you were a virgin! I wouldn’t know. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been a virgin. And I was always the one having the sex, not listening to it. I’m not Mormon though. Thank God.

    Extremely Witty – Glad we’ve figured out that you *like* hearing/feeling other people having sex around you. Perv.


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