Vibrations of a Vixen

…stories from under the sheets…

The Toothbrush Dilemma December 12, 2009

Filed under: dating,relationships — vixations @ 4:57 am

I usually called him when I was bored, but only after calling a few other people. He wasn’t that nice to me, and why would I hang out with someone who’s anything but sweet and genuine and smiley and has a big penis? Yea, I don’t know.

He usually called me when he wanted to go to a movie or when he wanted someone around to make fun of. We had that sexual chemistry from the start, but he was uncircumsized and I just have to say, for all you ladies who have never experienced that, it’s very different. Not necessarily bad, but nothing I was used to after having amazing sex for a year with a guy that I’m in love with.

Despite his fleshy penis, we decided to forego that condom after getting tested for STDs, and it started to get better.

One night after work, we went to dinner at Animal and actually listened to each other talk after a bottle and a half of wine. Then we stumbled back to his house, smoked a bowl, and had hands down the best sex we ever had.

Then I went home for a week and a half to celebrate Thanksgiving and spend time with all the boys I grew to love between middle school and now. He sent me a few playful texts telling me about stroking his cock and how good my wet pussy feels. I wish I had an ‘erotic texts’ folder in my phone where I could save all those fun conversations.

I texted him to tell him about the night I squirted, but didn’t tell him that I had any help.

Friday night he texted me late after work, and I didn’t respond for a few hours. ‘You cheating on me?’ he said.

Uhh, what?

‘You’re my wife now,’ he said.

‘I guess I missed the wedding.’

‘Wanna come over?’

Wtf is going on.

‘Yea, but I’m really tired.’

‘Me too. It was at Animal!’


‘The wedding!’

‘Oh. And then we consummated the marriage.’



I tried not to think anything of it. We met for lunch the next day, and after four mimosas he brought it up again.

‘So what were you doing last night?’

The truth is I was sleeping. But instead of telling him that, I didn’t say anything and looked out the window. I wanted to see how he would react. Why was he even asking me this? He doesn’t care about me.

‘I can tell that you’ve been with other people. I don’t want to have to worry about that. I just don’t do that.’

Well, if we’re not in a relationship, then what does it matter what I’m doing with other people??

I told him about the guy I gave a blow job to over Thanksgiving, but I didn’t tell him about the Brazilian or the guy I’m in love with. He doesn’t need to know. Plus I made the Brazilian get tested and he’s clean (thank the lord… I wouldn’t want to have to explain any of that to a guy that I’m having unprotected sex with).

‘You can do whatever you want, but if you want to hook up with other people then I’m not going to hook up with you.’

I’m so confused. This whole time he was telling me he’s been in so many relationships and the last thing he wants is a relationship, but if we’re only dating each other and only sleeping with each other, then what does that make this?

That night, I got dressed up to go out to a birthday party in Hollywood. I looked hot, because, hey, you never know who you might meet. After a couple hours at the bar, I realized that I wasn’t trying to look hot for any of these boys. I was trying to look hot for him. I wanted him to think I looked pretty. And I wanted him to kiss me. I left the bar early and went to his place. We smoked a bowl, drank some Pinot, and I told him that if he didn’t want me to sleep with anyone else then I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else.

We spent the rest of the weekend at his place lounging, cooking, sleeping, watching movies, and doing other Sunday things. But after brushing my teeth with my finger three times in a row, I asked to use his toothbrush before bed.

‘Of course, babe, you know where it is.’

I went into the bathroom.

‘We’re going to need to get you a toothbrush to keep here.’

Fuck. What am I getting myself into???


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